The Prisoner Swap: The Real Story

If you look at the trade of five high-value Taliban murders to get the release of a deserter and possible traitor it doesn’t make any sense.  The negotiations should have gone something like this:

Taliban Negotiator:  We want the release of five top Taliban leaders from Gitmo or we keep Bergdahl.

Obama:  The guy’s a deserter and a traitor.  I’ll give you a pack of gum and if you’re lucky I won’t chew it first.

Taliban Negotiator:  Throw in a pack of baseball cards and it’s a deal.

Obama:  Done!

It doesn’t make sense if you look at it from the position of what was necessary to get Bergdahl released.  What this trade was really about was Obama getting rid of the most hard-core detainees from Gitmo that under any other circumstance would be political suicide.  All this so he can close Gitmo.   I can hear Obama talking to his most senior advisers now:

Obama:  We can’t close down Gitmo until we get rid of the detainees.  We can probably convince most of the bleeding heart Americans to release the least dangerous prisoners.  But how do we release the ones that are responsible for the death of thousands of Americans and will surely kill more Americans if given the chance, without causing a big stink?

Recent Brown Graduate:  How about making them stand trial in a civil court.

Obama:  We tried that.  They won’t go for it.

Michelle Obama’s College Roommate:  How about moving them to a prison stateside.

Obama:  We tried that.  They won’t go for it.

Top Obama bundler during his last presidential campaign:  I got it!  Does the Taliban still have that traitor, Bergdahl, in Afghanistan?  Let’s use him to get rid of these guys.  I can see the braking news story on MSNBC now, “Our Dear Leader Single-Handily Obtains the Release of an American War Hero”.  We already have gag orders on the people he served with, right?  We can even spin this into a cause for national celebration!  We can invite his parents to the Rose Garden after he is released!  You know, the usual dog and pony show.

Obama:  That’s brilliant!  Let’s make it happen!

This is probably how the negotiations went:

Taliban Negotiator:  How can we get you to take this Jihadi wannabe, Bergdahl, off our hands?  He’s a real pain in the ass with all his “Death to America” chanting all night!  No one can get any sleep!

Obama:  We’ll take back Bergdahl, if you take back all the Taliban we currently hold at Gitmo.

Taliban Negotiator (scratching his beard):  I don’t know.  With you pulling troops out in 2016, we were hoping you would house and feed them until then, when we can really use them.

Obama:  That’s a problem.  I really need something to knock the VA scandal out of the headlines.

Taliban Negotiator (shaking his head):  Yeah, we heard about that?  We don’t even treat your military that bad.

Obama:  Look, how about you take ten Taliban.

Taliban Negotiator:  Five.

Obama:  OK, but they have to be five of the worst scum we have there.

Taliban Negotiator:  Done!